When to take the training wheels off
If you’re reading this, you definitely don’t have training wheels on your bike anymore. But are there places in our lives where we put or keep the metaphorical training wheels on, perhaps for longer than we need to? How do we know when or if to take them off?
In my case, I’m pondering this as I attempt to move toward a more relaxed budgeting style. It feels a little scary. For many years I’ve had a pretty detailed budget and I do a lot of tracking; you could say I have strong guardrails up. Of course I veer around them from time to time, as we all do with money. They’ve served their purpose well, but I think the moment has come to lower them. I noticed that the level of detail is actually starting to make me more anxious and a little rigid, in ways that aren’t necessary or helpful anymore. More flexibility is called for.
You know when you go bowling with kids and they put the bumpers over the gutters? Even as an adult, it’s fun to always hit some pins and not worry about the gutterballs. But if you actually wanted to get better at bowling, you know you’d need to lose the bumpers. Even if you’re not going pro, the lack of challenge or chance to see if you actually have some skills could make the game pretty boring after a while.
Amateur bowling nights aside, are there any areas in your life where you might have left the training wheels on too long?
New friendships that you’re not letting move to a deeper level?
Work tasks where you’re constantly checking in with peers or supervisors even though your performance and feedback are solid?
Restrictive rules around food choices?
A sport or physical activity you’re holding yourself back in?
Keeping overly-detailed and rigid to do lists?
A creative endeavour that you won’t let yourself take to the next level?
The common theme here is not trusting ourselves: not trusting that we’re ready for more, or that we’re actually perfectly competent without the safeguards. While these measures have a purpose, it might be worthwhile to periodically check in on these practices and ask:
Is this a case of not trusting myself to do what is right, necessary, or best in a situation?
Am I holding myself back or self-sabotaging by keeping myself closed off, too tightly controlled, rigid, or limited?
Am I resisting a challenge or an opportunity to grow that would ultimately be beneficial?
What I’m reading: Unearthing: A Story of Tangled Love and Family Secrets, by Kyo Maclear. Just a really beautifully written memoir.
What I’m watching: Simone Biles Rising. Almost too distracting to watch while I’m working out because I never want to miss a second of her gymnastics.