How to (not) be creative
I learned something over the past couple of weeks: bring creative without rules or defined outcomes is really hard.
I participated in writer Jami Attenberg’s (@CraftTalk) annual 1000 Words of Summer project, in which you aim to write 1000 words a day for two weeks. It’s a perfect challenge for any writer who needs a jump start on a project or wants to get into a solid writing habit. For once, I didn’t have any travel plans or other big things to work on, so I was excited to join in for the first time.
Not gonna lie: this was really difficult! I think we’ve established that I can do hard things (see my winter of half marathon training, for example!), but this was also a really major commitment. First of all, 1000 words a day is A LOT. I don’t think of myself as a slow writer; this, however, felt like it took forever. That was my first surprise. The second was more, well, surprising: that giving myself permission to be free and write whatever I wanted to made this whole thing even more daunting.
In the lead up to 1000 Words, I knew that I wanted to focus on one particular nascent writing project. I did not, however, have anything specific that I needed to write, like a chapter or a scene or an essay. My goal was to take this time to play around, put ideas on the page, and see where it took me. It turns out that I do not respond well to these instructions!
I thought this loose framework would take the pressure off of me. What I found was that I’m either not good at, or very unpracticed at, letting myself be creative without a clear point in mind. Most days, I didn’t know where to start. I might get going for a bit and then stop, having no idea where to go next. I did eke out the 1000 words each day, but it certainly didn’t feel like the fun, energized process I hoped it would be.
What this made me think about was how I (and I suspect others, too) struggle to do or enjoy things that don’t have a clearly defined purpose. Maybe this is why no one has hobbies anymore! The brain just freezes up at the prospect of the freedom to simply do something for its own sake with no particular point. We are bad at being pointless.
There are many culprits that have contributed to this: capitalism and the productivity imperative; the quest for optimization; hustle culture; the tyranny of time and the feeling that there’s never enough of it. I’m sure being an eldest daughter and former gifted child is part of my particular damage, too.
As I finish up the 1000 Words of Summer, I know I could optimize my next attempt by setting specific goals and outcomes. But maybe I need to practice letting go more, so that creativity won’t feel like such hard work next time.
What I’m reading: Heartbreak Is the National Anthem: How Taylor Swift Reinvented Pop Music, by Rob Sheffield.
What I’m watching: The Survivors. I’m a big fan of Jane Harper’s mysteries, and this mini-series is based on her book of the same name. Luckily I never remember how mysteries turn out so it will all still be a surprise to me.