You know when you’re doing a crossword puzzle and you get that one word that makes figuring out all the words around it suddenly so simple? It’s like finding a key that unlocks the whole thing, and suddenly, all the places you were stuck are super easy to move through. In the crossword, you don’t always know which word is going to work this magic, but you know it when you find it.
In life, there are moments like this, too. Sometimes we’re dealing with problems or tasks that seem huge, and we’re just slogging our way through with no clear path or end in sight. Then one thing happens that changes everything. A slight alteration to a routine. One missing piece of information appears. And what felt like an intractable issue dissolves away.
There’s some serendipity to this. We don’t always see that that change coming; sometimes it’s out of our control or triggered by someone else’s actions. Hell, maybe your algorithm shows you just the right product or piece of advice at the right moment. Accept these gifts from the universe when they come.
I think we can also try to create a bit of this magic for ourselves, though, by actively looking for the “keys” that can help either solve a problem or move us forward in really productive ways. The first step is remembering that what seems complex or heavy or just like a hell of a lot of work can often be simplified or smoothed out by a small change or insight. Instead of trying to figure out how to address THE PROBLEM, we can try to find one relatively small thing to tackle.
This is different from breaking a big task or issue down into small bites that you can cross off your to do list, although that’s always a good strategy. The issue is that sometimes the thing is too overwhelming, or anxiety-producing, or too complex, to use this tactic. Or maybe you’ve been trying it and you’re not really getting anywhere. You might be chipping away but you haven’t found the key that will make all that chipping either unnecessary or ten times easier.
Finding the key is about identifying the bit that is actually really sticky or problematic and dealing with that thing first. Often you know, somewhere in your brain or body, what that thing is, but you’re avoiding it. Maybe it’s frustrating or you’ve just ignored it for so long that it seems much bigger than it actually is. Maybe you’re underestimating how important that one change could be so you just haven’t bothered to address it.
Take writing, for example. Feeling stuck or blocked is very common, whether you’re writing a long report, an academic article, a book, or a short story. In my experience, it’s rarely the whole piece of writing that’s causing trouble. It’s probably one small bit: a thesis statement, a paragraph out of place, a weird metaphor, a piece of data that doesn’t fit. You can hack away at the project (or avoid it!), but if you don’t unlock the issue, you won’t really make any progress. It’s amazing how just moving something around, or deleting a sentence, or finally nailing the introduction, will be the key to making everything else work.
If thinking about a “key” isn’t helpful, you could try asking:
What is the smallest change I could make that might have a big ripple effect?
This can be applied to just about anything. Your house is chaos in the morning, with everyone scrambling to get out the door? Maybe there’s a small change that would have a large impact, like having the kids make their lunch the night before or even just waking up ten minutes earlier. Sure, it would be nice to renovate the house and add two more bathrooms and a beautifully organized coat room, but in the meantime there might be a more manageable shift that would make a difference.
In short, you don’t have to solve EVERYTHING in order to make a problem shrink or go away.
What I’m reading: Just finished Scaffolding by Lauren Elkin. Lauren was kind enough to do an event with me when my book Feminist City came out; I am very impressed by her turn from non-fiction to novel writing.